Wednesday, August 12, 2020

how im doing

how i’m doing tired, mostly there arent too many psets there arent too many extracurricular committments there arent too many  midterms there arent too many other, miscellaneous things to worry about but combine them together, and it feels like im drowning. hand foot mouth disease (what a terrible name) took me down for a week or two. its been going around, and now almost everyones heard of it. i got it especially bad, though hands and feet for a few days felt like someone was jabbing a needle into them every time i made contact with something. couldnt really even think about the work i had to do i was too busy thinking about how painful this was and how i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. missing out on two weeks of class at mit doesnt mean you get to catch up on the stuff you missed for two weeks. that workload you were keeping up with side by side, that workload that was just the right pace? its far ahead of you, now. to the point where you cant even see where it went. catching up seems impossible. skin started peeling from my hands and feet a few weeks ago. im going to have to deal with it for a few months. the internet says its an annoying part of the healing process. i just think my hands look atrocious. spent three whole days tackling the 6.009 lab, got it done in time, but that left me no time to give a good go at 6.006. i only managed to attempt about 60 of the 100 points by tuesday midnight. normally id be upset about that, but i didnt really care this time. today thursday todays going to be working on the 6.004 lab all day. ill have to forgo studying for the 24.902 midterm, also today. i dropped 18.100. felt good, actually. thinking about all the things i want to learn and all the ways i want to improve myself as a person but realizing i dont have enough hours in the day not enough energy not enough days in the week realizing im just tired all the time and wearing myself out. i need something to snap me out of this stupor. working in boston rather than some library on campus thats all-too-familiar has helped a bit. copley square is beautiful on a sunny day with clouds. i watched some boys toss a football on the green while eating a sandwich from the bon me food truck. i went to newbury comics and bought six volumes of one punch man because, well, why not. im choosing to spend more time psetting at sigep instead of next. i dont know whats with all this negative energy i feel whenever i try to be productive on campus. i cant really explain it. its weird. theres such an interesting hodgepodge of books on my desk that i feel compelled to share their titles with you. mob psycho 100, vol 1 (in korean) clrs all five hitchhiker novels in one large volume the kodansha kanji learners course genki 1 fun home korean vocab for foriegners a playbill of fun home. listened to an old playlist and reminisced about some good songs on there. Post Tagged #6.006 #6.009

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